what is my story ?

the way i see it

2011-04-24T02:30:00.000-07:00

it is obviously not possible to do everything at one
so the thing to do is to move towards self fulfillment in a the most definitive way
in the way where i can make the most obvious "as above so below" co-relation
so what does that equate to, to me?

change the home surroundings specially as they pertain to me
micro-size my closet and box everythng else before may 16th.

exercise one hour everyday
fitness
p90
p90X
insanity

move fast towards completion of prereqs

meditate daily for movement towards goals (yes corday, material goals correspond to spiritual goals)

new projects

2011-04-11T22:04:00.000-07:00

1. a happiness blog for an year

2. work out with P90 and treadmill

3. an year of visioning my ideal life: house, religious, career, health, kids

4. the meaning of QS for me..start with smaller surahs

what next

2011-04-11T22:00:00.000-07:00

took out a lot of stuff from the pantry...hard to balance the sentimental and the redundant with the simplistic stuff...

aslam mamoo passed away today
makes me think of how ready i am to present myself to my maker: not very :(
need to transfer all oils and powders to other containers so i can die in peace...kind sad huh?
anyways, i think my little ruffle is spreading ripples of spring cleaning..f did the garage, and then i empted my closet and to day the pantry...good going over all.

i need to step back and look at each room from a strangers perspective and see what it speaks to them...and fix that big time.

new closet setup ideas

2011-04-10T13:33:00.000-07:00

so ok i emptied out my closet this morning.
the question is what do i put back in and how do get rid of the extraneous stuff
anyways : heres what i need:

nice tees: v necks and 3/4 sleeves
good khakis in 2 or 3 colors
denim capris
khaki capris
white capris
white trousers
white jeans
jeans
nice kurtis
new lingerie
new undies
nice sandals
dharma gear: tees, with motifs like chicos, shalwar kameez, cotton and silk bamboo, linen hemp

this settles it!

2011-04-03T00:19:00.000-07:00

for the month of april to may 15th the name of the game is

not to buy anything at all!!!!!!!
sell, dispose of or otherwise organize and document everything in the house
including all the hard to get to grips with and not ready to deal with stuff
then to think what sort of house and life i want
then to think of death and what if i only had an year to live..and not to just say this...plan everyday of everyday forward from now to april 2nd 2012
then to think of simplicity and get rid of more stuff
then to begin zikr and speak to the divinity within
then to love the creator
then to turn inward and ever inward
then to live each day for it self

Why no bandage for His bliss?

2011-04-02T23:04:00.001-07:00

One day Rabia saw a man passing on the way with his forehead tied with a bandage. She asked him why he put on the bandage. He replied that he was suffering from headache.

"What is your age?" she asked.

He replied that he was thirty.

She asked, "Till today, how have you passed your life?"

He replied, "In perfect health".

She said, "For thirty years the Lord kept you sound, and you did not fly any colors on your body to express your gratitude for His gift, so that people could ask you the reason for your joy and knowing of God's blessings on you would have praised Him, but when for your own fault you have suffered from a little headache you have tied a bandage and go about exhibiting His harshness to you in making you suffer from headache. What a base act is yours!"

The prayer of Hazrat Rabia'a

2011-04-02T23:03:00.001-07:00

Neither this nor that world, You are enough for me

O Lord,
If tomorrow on Judgment Day
You send me to Hell,
I will tell such a secret
That Hell will race from me
Until it is a thousand years away.

O Lord,
Whatever share of this world
You could give to me,
Give it to Your enemies;
Whatever share of the next world
You want to give to me,
Give it to Your friends.
You are enough for me.

O Lord,
If I worship You
From fear of Hell, burn me in Hell.

O Lord,
If I worship You
From hope of Paradise, bar me from its gates.

But if I worship You for Yourself alone
Then grace me forever the splendor of Your Face.

how to make it happen

2011-04-02T00:42:00.000-07:00

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT

1. DEDICATE AN HOUR EVERYDAY FOR RE-REVIEWING CERTAIN FEW BASIC FACTS AND THEN VISUALIZING

2.HAVE A METHOD AND PATTERN AND PROCESS FOR SILVA VISUALIZATION

random new ideas that fire me up!

2011-04-02T00:37:00.000-07:00

A year long happiness project

Reducing the number of things i own to those that define me in a very sharp and elegant manner
and in so doing define myself to myself

10 home outfits
10 out door outfits
all of which thrill my heart
and make me stand tall in appreication to my creator

only a shelf full of prized books...after all can i take them with me...so give them away now...keep a list so you can borrow them when you need them

give away everything you possibly can

free up your metaphysical energy for your self and your self definition

see if you can grow taller, slimmer, younger, and more like your vision: 5'6"; skinny enough to look good in a tee and skirt, bohemian jewelry, and easy pretty hair.

write my book on the modern interpretation of the QS

and publish n a unique format in order to get feedback

understand what i like to do, what i love

2011-04-01T22:08:00.002-07:00

“I” and “you” are but the lattices,
in the niches of a lamp,
through which the One Light shines.
“I” and “you” are the veil
between heaven and earth;
lift this veil and you will see
no longer the bonds of sects and creeds.
When “I” and “you” do not exist,
what is mosque, what is synagogue?
What is the Temple of Fire?
- Shabestari

2011-04-01T22:08:00.000-07:00

The important thing is not to think much,
but to love much;
and so, do that which best stirs you to love.

Saint Teresa of Avila

Before you ask God for what you want,
first thank God for what
you have.

Talmud, B'rachot 30b

I do not desire suffering;
yet fool I am,
I desire the cause of suffering!

Shantideva

How long will you keep pounding on an open door
begging for someone to open it?

Rabi'a al-'Adawiyya

Was the door ever closed?

Salih Qazwani always taught his disciples, "Who knocks at the door of someone constantly, one day the door must be opened to him" Rabi'a one day heard it and said,

"Salih, how long 'will you go on preaching thus, using the future tense, saying 'will be opened'? Was the door ever closed? It was ever open."

what it would mean if

2011-03-31T13:11:00.000-07:00

I asked F yesterday about our nonexistent plan b....and he still does not know quite what it is
maybe a lifetime and childhood spent in salaried jobs takes the entreprneurship out of you
and maybe a childhood spent in company of parents who were nothing but makes it inevitable for one
Looks like i might have the independence i need
looks like he might be ok with me doing as i think best
so now that i do have this 'dheel' what do I do with it
what if i were on my own and could do as i please
what if i did not have to wait on anyone
what then
what are my dreams
do i even know that?
think on it
and ponder it?

a clinic of my own as NP could be baseline
a clinic as MD would be next step up
a clinic in non US location with tt for DM/cancer/htn/diet control
a clinic and pharmacy complex
is what i am doing now going to further the dream i have
if not then what will?
and how will i get it?

first things first:
clarify the dream
alongwith the studies, also do the practical
stay away from nursing homes unless i first take care of my elders
what feels true to me: giving health to people;showing healthy lifestyles;CURING disease; writing a book; leadership qualities; being able to talk aout ideas;
redefine myself: caring;ENERGETIC;WITH A CLEAR ODEA OF AND HAVING THE COURSE OF GETTING IN PERFECT HEALTH MYSELF FIRST !!!

goals going forward 2

2011-03-27T19:17:00.000-07:00

meet my 10% goal in one month
be a lifetime member in 3 months
keep it that way forever
as slim as SB in this picture

goals going forward 1

2011-03-27T19:10:00.000-07:00

A residency in internal medicine
in a US hospital that is the right fit for me
with wonderful helpful and good natured colleagues
with wonderful helpful nurturing and caring staff
with a lot of support for my growth as a professional
in a place that works for my family
with a schedule that is easy for me and my family
all in all to create a wonderful caring, nurturing experience for my professional growth
with a great job at the end of my training
to start it in 2011
as a spontaneous offer and in the easiest possible way for me
So be it!!!

New Hermetics Goals

2011-03-22T03:26:00.000-07:00

Spirit:
I will read the Q and find a new interpretation for it that makes sense to me
I will meditate 3 x a day and continue with mental dynamics forever

Fire:
I will have the courage to speak confidently with all kinds of people
I will create a heart oriented life

Water
I will create a meaningful volunteering experience
I will help my patients above and beyond what is exepcted

Air:
I will get my NP degree
I will pass my PCCN
I will get 99 in step 3

Earth
I will earn 500,000 per year in personal income
I will refine and define my style
I will become like SB/PG and be extremely healthy
My weight will be 120 pounds

Back again after a long time

2011-03-22T02:57:00.000-07:00

the need to make a real change
the importance of using this time by myself well
what shall i do with the one remaining hour i have tonight?
The remaining four days i have remaining?

single pointed thought

NOW:
rearrange books in the library--> somewhat done. much more needed to get the feel of clarity, move all files to shaista's room ( put in a crate/box for now), and in that shelf put all vd books, also clean out the overhead shelf
then in all areas make a list of how many books you have on each topic
reorganize my closet--> put away all sweaters, keep only fleece out, throw out spare socks, see below
clear out card drawer --> shoe box or amazon box of cards in s's room
clear out under sink cabinet--> only essentials
pile up all the books and give away unrealistic ones
clean out and rearrange the pantry
shaista's room -->create a box of stationery supplies in the pantry/ drawers/shaista's room??

work on my smart goals seriously today!!

ten 2 one

2011-03-01T12:22:00.000-08:00

A: academic
Step 3 with 99
PCCN
CMC

B:body
Program P90
Body: Sonali bhendre

Career: NP / Residency to start sometime this year. NP must begin in summer by latest ( from May to Summer end)

Dreams:
completely reinvent my appearance and look
NEW custom made mexican/moroccan type adobe house with courtyard/roses/clay pots/clothesline/servants
job with better hours and twice the pay
warmer climate ( SF type)
frequent and easy and paid for domestic and international travel

A first plan

2011-02-22T02:32:00.000-08:00

3 parts of one part each.
do the P90 in tandem
create a doable focus for the following areas:

physical fitness: face like PG and physique clear idea
academic success: early start in NP and quick progress
relocation to another city
shaista's move to that city/med school
money
safety in global BS
home of my dreams : white washed morroccan, mexican, aangan, bougainvillaea and potted roses
increase in independent income to about 200K per year,

Truly I want to get rid of soooooo much and hopefully do it one day at a time.... starting from today.

What is the one thing i want to create in 90 days most of all?
and most importantly a goal that i can look forward to , will not cause me stress and will be useful to me.

my new physique
what will be different this time?

public sharing of goal
weekly calendars on kitchen cabinet/TV cabinet
current weight announced 147.5
goal weight announced 120lbs, size 4 or less
10 to one daily and very seriously.

in 10 to 1 focus will be on the

physique goal,
and also on shaista and
our professional goals
create money for feng shui of house in april/may
sign up for NP in May session

Reconsider ?

2011-02-21T23:24:00.000-08:00

From where i am and what i am reading i sometimes wonder where i am heading. i know i am not going to do this whole grimoire thing, calling spirits etc.
yes i believe that there is a yearning within me, but this is not the way to be heading, NOT FOR ME AT LEAST, just does not vibe with me.
yes hoodoo works, and i can do it and so it makes sense to pursue it, and i will d o it but much more proactively and with a focus on self actualization...i think it will make it more powerful
what else makes sense to me ?
silva method
feng shui (the most basic form)
zikr
breathing techniques
clearing out the mind
quietening of themind
physical fitness
clarity of goals
eating raw as much aspossible
KEEPING IT VERY SIMPLE !!!
CLUTTER FREE
SINGLE POINTED
WITH THE END IN MIND

monthly magical diary and checklists

2011-02-21T02:26:00.000-08:00

I need to understand a figure out a way in which i will do magical workings on an ongoing basis, for instance towards each of my four wishes and to appeal to ech of the four levels of appeal: creator, angels, saints, real world/conjure

For example in he area of money:
1. recitation of " ya ghaneeo" wth a focus on understanding the full connotations of the word
2. finding out how to appeal and which angel to appeal to
3. appealing to the saint /gods of wealth and riches
4. create hunting money on the first day of the lunar month
5. create a money lamp
6. be clear on the amount you would be happy with and the source of that money

work on this and actually make it happen..u have a fixed scehule now...make it happen!

2011-02-21T02:18:00.000-08:00

If we think of our beings as food being slowly prepared, then the hours of meditation, auric work and good ritual is when the heat is turned on high. But we can always leave the heat on throughout the day, with constant small reminders. I perform small practices at least every half hour at work, internal or focused on my desk altar. We can create the Tree within us as we walk, as we wait in line etc. Then there are times we can get the heat up to medium, such as when we connect or flirt with our loved ones, directing the raised energy. Of course all direct sexual activity can and should be transmuted through the appropriate techniques. So there CAN be plenty of scope throughout each day.

People make their choices. To quote from the Gospel of Phillip:

“Those who say they will die first and then rise are in error. If they do not first receive the resurrection while they live, when they die they will receive nothing.”

Meditation IS "energy work", or is "energetic" in its nature. It also has the great benefit of simplicity. I often meditate on the tram to and from work, and sometimes while I walk along a street.

My experience is that it is the words of power (or the "matram") used in meditation that does the energetic work done, triggers it, or at least the logos has some important part in all of this "raising of energy". I have found out a particular set of vowels that gets my juices flowing so to speak, even it only "said" mentally (i.e. silently without using the mouth). The simple thought on the Word triggers the energy!

three or four wishes

2011-02-21T01:58:00.000-08:00

still continuing with my effort to clarify my own goals.
why?
so i shall know when i have reached them
so i shall know when the magic has come true for me
so the universe knows what i am looking for

i will play around with these for a bit:
1. to have the ability to heal all physical, mental, psychological, and spiritual problems of all those who ask me for help

2.to have unlimited wealth by virtue of being able to easily create it in as great an amount as i want

3. to have the seven generations after me to inherit this gift and to be blessed with the wisdom to value it

4.to be happy in their marriages and their children and be loved by their families

CREATION OF A THOUGHT CONSTRUCT

2011-02-16T02:27:00.000-08:00

Purpose: to help and protect shaista
Help in :
Academic success
Kind helpful people
Kind friends who will be there for the long term

Characteristics:

keeps her safe, ch of a guard dog --> FWP
guides her to make right academic choices like a genius --> CoS
tells her the right answers in tests--> Dr Hernandez
helps to draw helpful people to her--> attraction
prevents tiredness and increases her energy levels --> aries oil
makes people respect and listen to her --> do as i say
helps her relax and focus--> psychic vision
gets her selected as RA against any and all odds--> attraction/look me over

Duration of this construct:
till the end of this term

Description of the construct
appearance a very strong and intelligent goddess type woman who protects her as her dearest daughter
energies derived from all 4 elemental energies
dressed in white with gray is hair, clear and composed face, obviously very intelligent
tall woman of normal human height
elegant figure, soft momma shape, someone who can hug a lonely kid and make them feel good

Simultaneously does all these things for her
helps her relax
encourages her to work out
makes sure all her grades are good all As
smoothen her path to med school
finds a way for S to stay in OSU for summer for free
keeps her safe from physical harm as well as ppl who hurt her her.
people feel very bad when they are mean to her
people come up to her and apologize to her
they love her as RA and hire her ASAP

Process:
Get a picture of goddess type
raise energy
add energy
talk to it
viz what you see her doing
burn a candle with these oils
on a honey packet with same petition
see the end result

the things that i love

2011-02-13T00:16:00.000-08:00

a slim figure
reverse aging
oil lamps
a smooth skin
a sharp jawline
writing a book i love
clarity of mind
focus
perfect attention
pretty jewelery of glass and stone
slim arms
having servants to do the house work and cook for us
shaista happily married
the boyz happily married
f to be more easy going and less worried
f doing work that he loves
travel in style and comfort
see mom often ~ several times an year
beautiful clothes that i enjoy: crisp white shalwars and kholapuri chappals and kurtas,
beautiful head of hair
understanding life and end of life
good friends
clarity in my possessions
not worry about anything for when i die
be a good potter
?????????????????????????

Recapping

2011-02-12T23:21:00.000-08:00

I am pretty happy with all that I hav written so far. I am amazed at how deep i have thought through
my biggest gripe is that i don't keep my promises to myself.

But seriously if i could design my own life what would i do?
just the thought that i can design my life brings me to tears, because i get to think of things i love

imagine that ... i do not even permit myself to think of that which i love...

sad sad sad :(

2011-02-06T03:41:00.000-08:00

give away all redundant books
this way i will select my books with more care and read the ones i have with more care
and actually practice what i read
send shaista fun gifts from home
stay in touch with her better
develop interesting weekly menus on my nights up: look up new stuff
allocate every ady of the week for a prayer or ritual plus 10 to 1

list of happy making things i would like to have

2011-02-05T22:45:00.000-08:00

oil lamps at home in the evening
candles
a very clean kitchen and pantry
bone china sets of mugs
growing magical herbs and plants
a planter garden
get home feng shui'ed
eat international cuisine
find my inner designer and stylist: what do i want to dress in that will express my inner creativity? and how can i make it happen
designing my own uniform

2011-02-04T02:22:00.000-08:00

http://www.kate-jones.com/faq/
CY gabriel soaps from LM

Beauty spells on LM

2011-02-04T01:55:00.000-08:00

Look Me Over can definately help you turn head while Attraction products can attract people's attention.

Bewitching is another formula that I would consider for that purpose

cat talkes about rosemary ( in her book) and using that to preserve youthful features and beauty as a face tonic.

by starsinthesky7 » Sat Jan 22, 2011 8:26 am

You are going to need to purchase the herb rosemary

http://herb-magic.com/rosemary.html

and then you are going to soak the herb in Spring water, and then strain the water out which you can put in a bottle, or a spray bottle. I would soak the rosemary in the water for at least 3 or 7 days.

Here is a link to how you should store your water

how-to-preserve-rosemary-water-wash-t5665s90.html

As long as you keep it in the fridge I don't see the water going bad. I would probably keep it for about 2 weeks, or until it starts to look bad. It can be used as a wash you can spray it lightly over your face or your entire body. I would let it air dry.

You can simply say a short petition, With the help of God, may this bring beauty, and glamour to me,

i'm interested in all of your beauty suggestions - the oils and the water.
thank you for sharing.
i'm also surprised that more people arent asking for hoodoo beauty products ..... NOT that the world needs MORE beauty products.
THANK YOU Cat for not putting things on the market that you dont believe in or taking advantage of my insecurities about my appearance....but are sure you dont have ANY more beauty secrets?
i'm looking for a way to make my INNER beauty more obvious. I dont simply want people "looking me over" or feeling inexplicable "attraction." im not seeking extra attention, but i still care how i look.
Also, i dont want to look older than i feel. Anything that preserves youth is GOLDEN
Which reminds me, Conjureman Ali mentioned something in another thread about using Sun oil to "shine." Has anyone else ever worked beauty spells from that angle?
oh, and if you know of anything to be photogenic, that'd be great. all these people snapping pics with their phones and spreading them on the internet is a whole new challenge. i realize i could take a "commanding" or "controlling" approach to other people in order to protect or improve my image, but i'd rather fix what i can within myself first.

Queen Elisabeth root would work if it was for a woman. I would also add Blessing products.

Here's a sneaky trick for you.

Take 2 tablespoons of white caster sugar and put in a small bowl. Add to this 2 teaspoons of finely ground SEAsalt and one teaspoon of bicarbonate of soda. Add enough rosewater to just cover the sugar. You now have a grainy syrup-ey mixture.

For positive self image, add to this Healing and Clarity oils, and whatever herbs you desire.

Now package it in a jar or bottle and present her with your lovely home made facial exfoliating scrub. The base is divine on its own, and you can add whatever condition oils are required for the situation.

Re: Thank You Seven Powers of Africa

2011-02-04T01:40:00.001-08:00

Azna21 wrote:I have been praying to the Seven African Powers since New Year’s for career advancement/stability and more opportunities to get involved in community philanthropic and therapeutic work (in order to finish my clinical hours and become a licensed therapist). Within the last month all 7 of you have helped to place an abundance of networking contacts in my path, and since the new moon putting plans into action has begun to pick up at an extremely rapid pace … even within an hour after praying to all of you last night I received a phone call from a community organizer, and yet another one from a community director this morning (and all these events are occurring before my 7-day novena candle has finished)!

The Seven African Powers are truly amazing and generous with their results/blessings. I had no idea that they would bless me at such a rapid pace!! I have spent close to 2 years trying to get clinical therapeutic internships … after 13 days of uncrossing work, and a little bit of crown of success work mixed with the awesome Seven African Powers the doors of opportunity are now open. =)

Much love & light,

Azna21

Helping shaista with Dr Hernandez and St Jude

2011-02-04T01:39:00.000-08:00

Re: Working with Dr. Hernandez

Hi brujaha,

I'd like to testify that San Gregorio not only got me into medical school, but actually helped guide me down the path of becoming a physician in the first place!

I discovered Dr Hernandez many years ago while I was working in a medical library, and his spirit really spoke to me, even though I wasn't fully sure why. I figured that since I worked at a medical school, it made sense that I would feel drawn to the patron saint of medical students, and I simply accepted it at that. I kept a small statue of him on my desk at work, and every time I saw him, he gave me a sense of peace as well as a sense of purpose. I didn't know at the time what my purpose was -- I had no interest in becoming a doctor, and was at the time actually considering graduate study in the library sciences! Still, I enjoyed the good doctor's presence with me and continued to search for my path.

Long story short, about a year later, an illness in my family opened my eyes to the beauty, satisfaction, and wonder that can be found in a physician's work. Now, several years later, I'm a fourth year medical student, and San Gregorio is still guiding me on my path! In fact, he and San Lazaro have both given me many blessings in work I do with the mentally ill.

Dr Hernandez is full of warmth and kindness, and he will certainly help you in helping those in need! I wish you many blessings on your path.

developing psychic ability and creating thought constructs

2011-01-30T21:58:00.000-08:00

light a blue candle with clarity, psychic, cos, drawing light energy from outside (divine source) into a psi ball.

develop instructions for this energy ball:

Name: phoenix

your purpose is to help me transform my physical appearance as i direct you on a daily basis
you will exist in my thoughts only
you will only work for my good
you will rejuvenate all cells organs and tissues that will enable me to achieve the appearance that i seek (refer to picture)
you will influence all those who see me to say I look exactly like p.g.
you will cease to exist when i say "disperse yourself in the universe"

arrow shaped construct with energy from air (to encourage communication) with Z K MD written across it .

Name: Get Residency Arrow (GRA)

your purpose is to help me achieve my goal of getting an internal medicine residency in 2011
you will go and influence all the people in the je ho, in cin who are responsible for choosing residents and make them all like me as their best candidate.
you will compel them to call me, and plead with me to join residency there ASAP!

job stability and favor at work

2011-01-27T13:40:00.000-08:00

with this one we again need to move up the dimensions from physical, interpersonal, magical, saintly/angelic, and ultimately to the creator.

so on an ongoing basis understand the needs of being a good nurse. no regrets that you are a nurse now: indeed you are a lot better than a lot of unmatched hopefuls. also you can still give step 3 and for the heck of it keep applying if you wish..also you can add magic to all of this and get people to call you etc

practical things to aim for in my career for the long term and for the current year.

advance yr career in NP
pccn
cmc
step 3 in July
without any problems be working in a residency hospital where i can move into a residency program

magical and saint petitioning to dedicate myself to:

develop a jack ball: a lil zee. program it to do the above for me.
petition Dr Hernandez and St Jude and St Martha the dominator on a weekly basis: white, green, and red candles.
create a 9 oil blend for success and fulfillment: CoS, crucible of courage, fast luck, van van, fwp, attraction, 5 finger grass, look me over, bewitching
get tobacco to get ppl to call you
honey packet of all managers and burn it weekly

dua to A:

ayat kareema 100x with consciousness and awareness

2011-01-27T13:19:00.000-08:00

health for myself and family

what does this mean to me. the key is to keep it simple enough to make it doable. Divide it up in days. Have 2 sessions on the days off, and none on work days. So i can work on 4 days a week. work days i am on my feet for 12 hours anyways so thats ok.

2 things:
1. treadmill with weights 45 minutes at 10 incline and 3 speed
2. transformetrics working upto 100 push ups in one month

diet: as right now, maybe increase smoothies more.. i need to look this up and clarify

result needed : flat abs and a size 4
reward: good health
my gift to myself: feng shui the house

things to get:
ankle and wrist weights: interchangeable is good.
grips to do the transformetrics with --> tiger stretch push up
exercise mat

and the end result i am looking for is this !!!!

but thats just the 3rd dimensional part. the whole point of my exercise is to add a multi dimensional aspect to everything and to bring the exercise together

so for the magical part: insert here a spell for glamour and allure

and here a plea to a saint for health and physical strength St Martha

and here a dua for health physical and mental and spiritual and understand that all of this is part of a greater whole and being done out of gratitude for my physical existence

everytime i exercise i need to pull this together and feel grateful that i am able to do this bec of my physical existence on this plane

incorporate atleast 10 minutes of breathing exercises daily and increase to twice a day

Practical matters

2011-01-27T12:50:00.000-08:00

Develop a schedule for your magical and metaphysical matters. now that i have a schedule going forward i can plan my days better..

what do i need most:

health for myself and family
job stability and favor at work
safety for myself and family
children's success
peace of mind
a good respected career
wealth
travel
home of my dreams

what practical and magical steps do i need to take for all this?

What i need to remind myself of daily

2011-01-27T12:44:00.000-08:00

good going so far. the key to starting each days writing is to read what went before and so to stay on task. so with the issue being transformation , let me now take the time to remind myself of some key facts:

1. do what is at hand in the best way possible
2. do not regret
3. do not drive while looking in the rear view mirror
4. the world is very superficial. inorder to give your life meaning do not look to the world to help you, you have to find it for yourselves.
5.give thanks on a daily ongoing basis
6.develop presence of mind, and learn to live fully it fully and understand what living fully in the present means

First things first

2011-01-25T01:53:00.000-08:00

Another idea that I have been toying with for a while is the idea of putting limits on my tme. I f ofor instance I were to say that all i have to live is an year , how would i live different and then do things from that perspective.
What does this concept do for me?

well the need for a residency goes out the door..what else..
so does grad school..what remains then?
just my family and
my job and the need to do them well.
being kind to people
being the best person i can be
making DH happy by getting in shape
write to friends and family
getting the house in order
clear the clutter every where
enjoy a fun tme with manifestation and transformation
treasure my physical experience on planet earth

2011-01-25T01:42:00.001-08:00

So then first of all I am interested in the possibility of physical transformation.

First and foremost, histologists and the like, have established the rate of tissue turnover.
So working form that standpoint let us see:
Skin: full thickness turnover in 4 weeks
Muscle: full thickness in a maximum of 3 months.
Blood vessels: renewed in 2-3 months
Bones: full thickness in six months to an year

The other requirement is focus and a clear picture of where I want to be at the end of an year with this degree of clarity.

What do I need to establish? A clear picture of the final physical transformation (Check) I desire. Bring some changes in the picture so it is unique to you (eye color).

A clear idea, picture, practical aids and daily repetition of the changes desired in the:
Color and appearance of my skin
Tone, bulk, proportion and size of muscles
Blood and blood vessels:

some thoughts on construct making process

2011-01-25T01:41:00.000-08:00

How to make a Construct

1. First, plan out all the information for it; decide on how you will represent it. Since mine will assist in my physical transformation, I will give it a magic want with a star at its end. It will have a rotund cluod like shape everything you want it to be able to do, how it will look etc. I will describe in respect with the 5 senses. Will write this information in a flash card like book and this blog if needed.Write all this information down on a piece of paper (or in your personal journal) ..and everyday will reread the features of the TC as well as its intended tasks ...

2. do a 10 to 1 just before i do this...

3. To charge this, I will suck in energy via my alternating breathing ritual...and focus on one type of energy or sense to do it...i will breathe in the sense or quality with each breath into the TC. Now draw in energy, one type at a time (if you work that way), and concentrate/direct it in accordance with your Will. Just imagine strongly that you're sucking in energy (in whatever phase you need) and breathing it out into an area in front of you where you mold it into the shape you want it; use your hands if you need to at first.
Visualize strongly the thing that you're creating, right in front of you. You almost paint the energy where you want it. Push or exhale the energy out of your hands or mind if you must.   You might build a construct in sections starting first with one phase of energy (applying it according to its properties), then continuing on with energy in another phase, and then another, until you have completed the task of building one construct. There are many ways to view the process.
So first the visual shape --> rounded like Casper the friendly ghost
Then the smell--> of pink roses
Then the sound--> none. i will communicate via telepathy
then touch--> none

4. Once you have finished making your construct look the way you want with all the features on it you need, then it is time to program it.   Imagine that a construct is sort of like a living astral robot that you have created. Now, you must program it so that it can carry out your tasks.

All you need to do at this point is to imagine that you are consciously injecting information into it and programming it. If it assists you to do so, you may pretend you are 'breathing' information into the construct; just formulate the program/mental command in your head, and then exhale it into the construct (almost expelling it like in an orgasm from your mind or body- doesn't need to be as intense though). Thus I will read the affirmations to it every day and ask it to act on it.

5. A simple set of mental commands should be sufficient. Things like, "Your job is to protect so-and-so," and, "you are intelligent and know what I wish you to know about the job you are to perform," are usually fine at first. Your first attempts at constructs will likely be simple. As your skills improve, the set of mental commands used to program one with will probably become more complicated. Pay meticulous attention to detail and you'll do fine.   As always, your Will or Intention WHILE you are building and programming the construct is what determines how good of a job you do.

6. Don't forget the time limit! For 1month to begin with. I will give it a name so I can recall it as neeed.Just put that in as part of your construct's programming.   Note: some find it useful to assign names to their creations so that they can be called back to report on progress, or just simply return home. This could also be a useful practice to increase the amount of control you have over a construct. Most people don't give out the names of their constructs without a good reason. It may be a good idea to program yours not to respond to the commands of anyone except you, unless you're making it to assist someone. Once you've finished creating and programming your construct, dismiss it to perform its task and have confidence that all will go as you've planned.

7. Don't think of failure while doing anything; such thoughts detract from your effort and scatter the force of your intent. Developing the mindset that failure is not an option and doubts are not possible whenever you commence an operation may be beneficial in keeping your focus; sort of like shifting gears in your mind beforehand everytime. I used to build a construct first then program it for the task I wanted it to perform, but you may find it easier to program it while you build it.   When I create them now, they seem to spring into life without much effort, being created and programmed simultaneously. With practice, everything is always easier. The more work you put into it, the better it will be. Over time, you'll develop your own style.

There are 3 main characteristics to all thought forms.
Those are basically form, function and identity.

This includes thinking about whether the construct is a long term or a short term project. Short term constructs work differently then long term constructs. A short term construct will cease as soon as the energy runs out and long term constructs need to be refueled as a level of maintance. There are many purposes for both and neither is better then the otheras both have their pros and cons and it all depends on the individual project. This means, does the thought form stay in place doing its job or is it going to be a burst of thought/intent/energy bomb. Remember the clearer the thought, the more effective the construct will be. It might be a good idea to do a writing exercise to fill in as much of the thought process to answer questions such as who or what the thought form is intended for (the target),what the construct's intent is, when it should effect and for how long, where the construct is to be located and how it is to carry out its programming. Some thought forms will be so simple that few characteristics will be needed.

I suggest that you start out simple and work your way up also remembering to add a self-destruct instruction should anything go wrong to make recall and dissapation easy. Another option for this is to create a construct to absorb or eat the origional construct.

There are several ways to energize a thought form.

One technique is to draw energy, visualize the goal and infuse the thought with energy, making it compact and filled. One of the Huna techniques I learned was deep breathing to draw energy and make a ball of energy external to the body in the abdomen region, then creating a picture screen in your mind visualizing what it is that is desired, Move the ball of energy up to the area of the 3rd eye and to infuse the thought and energy as one. With a sharp exhalation, you would propell the construct to its desired target. There are other ways that work just as well, find one that appeals to you and make it yours.

Once the construct has been sufficiently energized, it will need to be maintained regularly depending on the program. To do this you can recall it easily by naming it when constructing it and then recalling the name and function and filling it with energy similar to a phone line, calling up the energy pattern or construct and sending it energy in whatever form you choose.

I find it easier for novices to use another visualization (practice makes perfect!) of refueling it via a gas/energy pump like adding gasoline to a car to make it go. I'm sure those of you who are creative can imagine a myriad of different ways to accomplish the same thing, remember its just a way of communicating an idea to the subconscious mind of what to do with the energy. By using a gas pump, we know its purpose is to disperse fuel in a measured amount. If necessary, we can also create a gage as a sub-program of the construct to measure when its full or needs more energy and can give warning when the construct runs low on energy.

As an example of a construct, lets start with one of the most used skills psions have in their tool kit, the shield. I, however, want to emphasize that constructs can be used for any and everything you can think of from defense, healing, sending information, manifesting intents, to self-improvement such as increasing your awareness. Stop and think about why you need shielding, what it is you want to keep out or in. Draw in energy and start to think of how you want the shield to function, what it is you want the shielding to do from making you "invisible" psychically or being chameleon-like properties of blending in to where people are less likely to see you standing out in a crowd. You might also want the shielding to be stationary or to be activated when you would like. Many people, especially empaths feel too clausterphobic to use stationary shielding and prefer to use it only when overload becomes eminent.

Ok, conjure an image that appeals to you. Perhaps a suit of armour represents something that embodies your idea of being shielded, or one of my favorite visualizations is the auto-shield on the batman car. There are too many for me to mention and again, I encourage you to use something symbolically appealing to you. As you visualize, see/feel the energy infusing with your thoughtform. This might take form as you are seeing the image in your minds eye and it starts to shimmer or have a colored aura. You might also do this with a feeling of coolness, heat or strength. As you do this, verbally repeat over and over what it is you want. In the case of the shielding I might add the line of "stop all errant connections from contact" or "stop agressive psychic connections ment to harm me". In all cases you should look at what you say and try to define things clearly. What would an errant connection be to you? What would an agressive attack constitute? You might find that these terms will redefine themselves over time and that the programming will change over time. In an empath's case, they may wish to put a barrier up to stop other's emotional energy from mixing with their own or to stop the incoming projections.

Start with something simple and work by adding progressively complicated instructions to fine tune the desired goal. Practice makes perfect and sometimes that means giving it a certain amount of time to work out rather then tearing it down immediately or simply tweaking small characteristics to fit your needs better. As I stated earlier, this is ment for beginners to understand how to program but its also ment for psions to take the information and to then think outside the box, to create their own techniques and ideas.

The Psion's Handbook: Overview of Psionics

another great read on the whole thought construct thing :)

2011-01-24T13:08:00.000-08:00

http://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial&channel=s&hl=en&tbo=1&q=related:http://www.themystica.com/mystica/articles/t/thought_forms_how_to_program_and_use.html+Rev.+Romska&sa=X

http://www.themystica.com/mystica/articles/t/thought_forms_how_to_program_and_use.html

The story of me 2

2011-01-24T13:05:00.000-08:00

I am first and foremost spiritual, just as everything else in this world.

We are all from the earth, and we need to not be afraid of returning to the spirit form. Instead we should use this physical experience to the utmost and not hunger after egoistic pursuits.

There must be more inward turning and self inquiry on a daily basis. To think about our spiritual connection as our most important raison d'etre of our lives.

thus to have a spiritual practice as the most important part of my existence and to make no judgement on any one's practice. to honor and respect every other living thing.

To fulfill my responsibilities first, and then ask about my rights.

The story of me

2011-01-24T12:22:00.000-08:00

This blog is going to be my daily check to see what the story of me is .
For this one year I want to question all the paradigms I have held about myself, and ask a lot of what ifs.
In recent retrospect I have realized that our stories that we create about ourselves are not that reliable. They are just frames in which initially, our society, our peers, our families and eventually we our selves try to cram ourselves into.

If the fit is close enough we never notice, if we are smart enough to do whats expected of us we never notice; we are only following orders written for us, because they are made to seem that they were our ideas all along... sometimes things can misfire:

If we don't make the cut: one of 2 things happen:

1. We feel like losers because we have not fulfilled our 'story' that was put out for us

2. We are just smart enough to question our story

I happen to be a loser of the second variety. And I question my story. I come from a family of doctors. I almost made it but eventually could not get in. Thus I am labeled a failure in every one's eyes. Of course they are all very sympathetic and kind, but you can see it in their eyes.

But what can I do ? To make things worse, I became a nurse thus underlining my second hand nature in their eyes. This is not a blog about about how nurses are just as good as docs. Please not that!

This is a blog about redefining myself and create a living breathing life that has a meaning, where I am a being, being whom ever i want to be. So how do i redefine myself and break free from how i was defined at birth?

What are the right questions to ask?
What are the right spells to do?
What should my new me look like ?
What are facts that i will now imprint on my consciousness that will define me ?
How will I stay true to this new being I am going to create?
I dont want my passins to be defined by others' quotations
Whom am i ? I ? I ? I ?

You see my aim is to replace one set of facts with another, so completely and absolutely as to ensure that the previous life never existed. In order for that to happen I must needs get in touch with myself. What are my facts about myself?

I need to find out what my inner self quickens to? I have had brief glimpses of my inner self at times. When it surprised me by saying: Not this, but that! And when I listened to it, I knew a very very rare happiness, just flashes of pure feeling that have stayed in my memory as a sign of what i am capable of feeling

So today i decided to begin a personal blog to put together what i really know of myself.

I will try to classify myself thus:

What are my likes?
What are my dislikes?

In truth that would pretty much cover me and let me begin to have a picture of where i need to be and what i need to do.
More later....